“I had a marriage and a child. If there were doubts, if there were periods of null depression or active despair, these could only mean that I was ungrateful, insatiable, perhaps a monster… What frightened me most was the sense of drift, of being pulled along by the current of my destiny, but in which I seemed to be losing touch with whoever I had been…” – Adrienne Rich
For many women, the most dramatic transition in life is becoming a mother. The transformation to motherhood activates powerful archetypal energies that may shake us to our core. In early motherhood, we can be so focused on the care of our child or children that we have little time to contemplate and assimilate the profound changes that have occurred, both internally and externally. When we finally have a moment to breathe, we may feel that we have lost touch completely with the person that we once were, and have little idea who we have become.
The intensity of motherhood reveals to us our roughest edges. We may develop symptoms such as depression, anxiety, overwhelm and fatigue. Even if we had a strong desire to become a mother we may feel the reality of motherhood is quite different than our expectations. We will likely feel grief over the loss of our previous self.
The magic of motherhood is that it reveals to us both our wounds and our wisdom. Learning to listen to our inner wisdom and to care for and nourish ourselves as mothers the best thing that we can do for our self and our children. Our children do not need a perfect mother. As Anne Lamott says, “the most profound thing we have to offer our children is our own healing.”
I would be honored to support you in integrating motherhood into your life path. When underlying issues are addressed and expectations are adjusted motherhood can feel satisfying and meaningful.
“As I cooked in the cauldron of motherhood, the incredible love I felt for my children opened my heart and brought me a much greater understanding of universal love. It made me understand the suffering of the world much more deeply.”
– Lama Tsultrim Allione